So you say your website was written with your audience squarely in mind. You gave them every consideration as you crafted your website copy, tuned to their needs, answering their most pressing problems.

Wanna bet? Here’s a simple test. I call it the “All About We” test.

Open any page on your website that describes the services you offer your clients.  Count how many times you refer to your company, then count how often you tip your hat to the reader.

Let’s look at an example. Here’s a pretty common company description.

At XYZ Corp, we specialize in software security and quality. Since 1992, our expert consultants have implemented programs that ensure our clients’ software is secure and reliable while enabling them to dramatically improve how they build and deploy software. As thought leaders in the fields of software security and quality, we provide expert advice across the enterprise based on a combination of proven methodologies, tools, and best practices to meet each client’s unique requirements.

“We” Count: 5

The Reader: 0

Now, I’m not saying you should never mention your company, but the third-person tone of this content keeps your reader at arm’s length. How about simply recasting it to make the reader the central character in this paragraph?

XYZ Corp specializes in the security and quality of your software. Since 1992, our expert consultants have implemented programs that ensure your company’s software is secure and reliable while enabling you to dramatically improve how you build and deploy software. As thought leaders in the fields of software security and quality, we provide expert advice across the enterprise based on a combination of proven methodologies, tools, and best practices to meet your unique requirements.

“We” Count: 3

The Reader: 5

Doesn’t that feel warmer? Isn’t it nice to feel included? It’s natural to write in a possessive, dispassionate voice, especially when technically-oriented people are writing the copy. The alternative copy doesn’t change the meaning of the paragraph, but is much more likely to help the reader picture themselves employing your services.

Does the copy on your website involve your reader, or does it make them feel like they’re standing on the outside, looking in?  What strategies do you use to draw your readers in and make them feel involved?